Things in life are not always as simple as they may appear to be. Sometimes things can be, for lack of a better term, not simple… Actually, go figure, there is a term I can use. That term is complicated. So many things are complicated in this day and age. We know the basic and common complicated scenarios like dating situations, trying to tell a girl you don’t like her new hair and many other things. Unfortunately there are some very complicated scenarios that many people don’t realize just how complicated it is to experience them. Being fat is definitely one of these scenarios.
There are many facets of life that are just more difficult to navigate while being fat. I can talk about many things, but for this particular entry I will focus on a snippet of a very important matter, and this matter is dating. Dating in itself is a very complicated issue. Maybe I am shy but society tells me that as a man I must be the pursuer. Maybe I am not financially stable but society tells me that I need to go on a $200 date to be relevant. Maybe is also a song title by artists like Rocko and Teyana Taylor. Nevertheless these are things that all shapes and sizes go through. My people, the fat people, struggle in ways that many do not realize although the same people actively contribute to said struggle.
I recently had a conversation with a friend and I opened her eyes to previously unknown struggles. Here is what I told her… if I go out with my boys and we see a group of girls with a big girl in it, my friends naturally look at me and go “Jiggs that’s all you right there”. Now this is where things get complicated. If I do not personally like big girls then it is deemed strange and people say things like “who are you to judge” or “how can you not like what you are?” Now if I DO like big girls then my friends will tell me I am settling and that I can do better…which has happened to me on numerous occasions. If I want a smaller woman then people will automatically assume she is out of my league. We have all seen the pictures of the fat guy and skinny girl with captions talking about “this is what happens when personality matters” and so forth. So with all this being said, if I choose not to approach women due to the catch 22 that I am already in due to being fat then I am thought to lack confidence and I need to get better at talking to women.
Upon hearing these revelations, my friend inquired about what happens if I genuinely like a person based on personality and not looks. Well… the problem is that regardless if I like a person due to her mind or not the perception is that big people can only get other big people because who the heck else would want them? It’s like we settle even if we genuinely like the person because well, society is stupid. Now clearly there are more complicated things that go on but I need people to realize what kind of situations they put us in. Dating is already hard enough when your added weight makes people think you are already a lower class of citizen who isn’t as good looking as the rest but when people make it more complicated by adding stipulations on who it’s acceptable for you to like… man. Life be hard. We all know that. But stop making it harder, even if you’re doing so unintentionally. That means you society.
