James “Duke” Smith 11/6/1988 – 4/9/2021

This morning I was awakened as my phone rang around 5am. I saw my cousin Ike was calling me but I was too sleepy to answer. I received another call around 7:53am and by this time I was awake so I answered. From the tone of voice I knew someone had to have died. Sadly these suspicions proved to be true when I received the news that my cousin Duke was murdered in the early hours of the morning. All I knew was that he was shot and killed outside a store around 3am. I was sad, hurt, angry, confused, and all around stuck. In this world filled with so much death, I didn’t expect to hear that my cousin was one of the ones I would have to say goodbye to so soon. I called family and friends and we all are processing the news but when I spoke to my mother and broke the news to her it made me break down in tears when she said “What was he doing? I thought he turned his life around”. I cried not because he didn’t, but because he was trying to so badly and I know the way this country likes to paint young black men who have a past. This is why I want to share this piece to highlight the humanity and beauty in a man who I knew to be a cousin, friend, and a good father.

Duke, I  know we didn’t really get close until I was in high school but since then it has always been nothing but love between us. While the differences in our upbringings were numerous, just the same were the similarities. You see, neither of us came from a place of privilege nor money. The beauty of this meant that our bonds we formed were not created on the assumption that either of us could do something for the other, but more-so formed on genuine and pure love. You never judged me for liking Pokémon or Final Fantasy. You never judged me for listening to people like Avril Lavigne or Katy Perry while riding through Southside with the windows down and speakers up. We were almost polar opposites in many ways but that just made our bond so much more wholesome and pure. When you grow up and spend time with people who only have love to offer you, you get to know them on a genuine and whole level. This is what I will choose to remember about you cuz, the wholeness of you that I grew to, and continue to, love.

Duke, I know you did not have an easy childhood. I know you were not perfect. What is important is that YOU knew that we all knew that and loved you not despite any flaws, but because of them. What I saw was a young black man growing up trying to navigate life as best he could with the tools he was given. Whenever we spoke, I heard a man who genuinely wanted to do better in life but also one who celebrated all the wins as they happened. I remember you calling me and talking about the job you got some years ago. The joy in your voice when you talked about how you were happy to be given a chance to show you can work an honest job and be worthy of trust was so fulfilling for me to hear. I remember reading you post about how you were hired at a job making more money than you ever made in before and the joy I felt was immense, not because I didn’t expect it, but because I knew how much you wanted this for your family and yourself. This is why I made it a point to tell you how proud of you I was whenever I got the chance.

Duke, I know you always wanted to make sure you were a great father who was present for your children. I was with you and present when you found out you had children on the way and I never recall you shying away from the responsibilities of fatherhood. I know you were ecstatic to not only pass on your name but also to be the father you wanted as a child. It breaks my heart to know that 6 young children now have to grow without a father due to senseless gun violence but I am so so happy knowing that if nothing else, those children know their daddy loved them. I know you were working on bettering yourself physically as you lost weight right before this tragedy occurred and I know you just posted many family pictures with all your children. I saw and spoke to you about how many trips y’all would take and all the things you would get for them. I know spending time with your children was so important and I want everyone to know that side of you as well.

Duke, I know you didn’t always have the best home life. I remember the days when you were living with us, and it was at least 3 people sleep on one sectional. We were all in a house made for far less people than the number that inhabited it. I know you felt comfortable always being at our house. I know how you called my mom “ma”. I know how you and Ike shared a brotherly bond that nothing could break. I know you felt comfortable making friends with my friends and how we all became a big family. Knowing these things makes your death hurt more because I know that you knew how important you were to us. You knew that no matter what was happening, we loved you because we knew you were worthy of love. If you needed anything you knew we would help. If you called me from jail, I answered. If you needed money on your books, I helped. If you were down on your luck and needed a ride, we helped out and you never had to ask because we knew that you were always trying to do the best you could. We all knew the Duke who wasn’t afraid to ask for help or be vulnerable because he knew he had a tribe of people who would not judge him, because we never believed or thought we were better than him. I want everyone else to know that side of you Duke. The loving and vulnerable man.

Duke, I know that after I graduated and moved up here that we didn’t see each other as much as we used to. What always made me happy is that none of that mattered. My salary, location, job title, what kind of vehicle I drove, or anything mattered when we talked. I never felt like if you were calling me it was because you needed something. I knew when you called it was just to talk and catch up. I remember when I was at the airport, going to Cancun for my friend’s wedding, how excited you were to tell your boss about your “rich cousin” who was out here living his best life. We had the obligatory “Man I aint making no noise… Nah I’m tryna be like you” convo that all black men have. You were genuinely happy and excited for me to be doing things we talked about growing up. I remember how often we would try to plan times when you would come up here and just stay at my place for the weekend and we could hit DC and just have a good time. I remember the times you would come to JMU to visit us. It was always love that had no expectations. I knew how funny you were. I knew how protective of your family you were. I want everyone else to know about that side of you Duke.

I could write for hours but I wanted to just share a small tribute to highlight the beauty of your life. When we lose people to gun violence in cities that are full of black people, the narratives are often negative and one sided. The people telling the stories often bring up the past of the parties involved. The sad part is they never bring up the beautiful parts of said pasts. So while the news reports see you as “A man” who was fatally shot, I see you as James Smith, my cousin and friend who was taken too early. While the coward who did this saw you as disposable, I saw you as a beautiful human being who had so much more life to live. You had value. You were human. You were a father. You were a brother. You were a son. You were a cousin. You were a friend. You were important. You were loved. A person’s past and flaws do not make them unworthy of life and love, they make them worthy of admiration and acceptance. You were doing your best. So now I will do my best to share the beauty that was you. I love you and I want everyone else to know how worthy of love you were. Rest easy cuz.